MAGazine
9
Dave -
submitted by Kim Leonnie
A
Doctor in a small town west of the black stump wanted to get off work and go
hunting, so he approaches his assistant, Dave.
‘Dave,
I am goin’ huntin’ tomorrow and don’t want to close the Clinic. I want you to
take care of the Clinic and tak care of my patients.’
‘Yes,
sir!’ answers Dave.
The
doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and ask, ’So, Dave, how was
your day?’
Dave
told him that he took care of three patients.
‘The
first one had a headache so I gave him some Tylenol.’ ‘Bravo, mate, and the second one?’ asks the
doctor. ‘The second one had stomach
burning and I gave him Maalox, sir’, says Dave.
‘Bravo,
bravo! You’re good at this and what about the third one?’ asks the
doctor.
“Sir,
I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens and a woman enters. Like a flame, she undresses herself, taking
off everything including her bra and panties and lies down on the table and
shouts, ‘HELP ME — I haven’t seen a man in over two years!!’
“Tunderin
Lord Yeezus, Dave what did you do?’ asks the doctor.
“I
put drops in her eyes!’
Revenge is Sweet
- submitted by
Kiwi John
There
are two statues in a park, one of a nude man and the other of a nude woman.
They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when
one day and angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings
the two to life.
The
angel tells them, “As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing
summers and dismal winters you have been given life for thirty minutes to do
what you’ve wished to do the most”.
He
looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery. The angel waits patiently as the bushes
rustle and giggling ensues. After fifteen minutes, the two return, out
of breath and laughing.
The
angles tells them. “Um, you have fifteen minutes left. Would you care to do it again?”
He
asks, “Shall we?”
She
eagerly replies, “Oh, yes, lets! But let’s change positions.
This
time I hold the pigeon down and you crap on its head”.